A Cold Winter Morning in South Africa.

Here today I will share an experience from my childhood far from Singapore, in South Africa

I have firsthand experience of a traditional African belief -- if a relative of pregnant woman kills the child of a fortunate family, her child receives all the good luck. I learned all about this when my dad was the principal of a school in this beautiful southern tip of Africa. 

Imagine a lovely little country side, full of flowers, deep colours, fruit trees and fresh air, silent except for the ting, ting sounds of cattle bells carried to you by gusts of wind. Lovely white winter’s snows - summer days long enough for a beautiful jog up and down the mountains. This was once my home.

My safe and secure world of toys and friends was bliss for a boy of 3. And a school Principal was like a chief of the village and responsible for many aspects of school administration, such as collecting and depositing revenues. To reduce the chance of theft, all fees collected were banked the very same day. something strange happened on this particular day. The cash my Dad sent a member of his staff to deposit was returned to him at home, apparently due to some fault with the bank account.  My Mom, always careful, divided up the cash and hid it in various places around the house.

Later, my parents hosted a party for the teachers of the school at our home. It was a very cold winter night, and the guests were happy to chat in the sitting area. Suddenly an interruption by a “knock knock” on the kitchen door. Knock! Knock! Knock!  My mother saw 3 boys standing at the door. She asked what they wanted. “Oh Madam A student of the school has met with an accident  and we want to meet Intate.” Intate means a man in good standing. My father went out to meet them, as it was customary for the principal to sign to certify deaths in the village

As Dad was trying to get details, curious little me went out to say hello and socialise. One guy in the group carried me - my parents may have seen this as a very genuine touch. But the next thing my parents saw was a gun at my head. Mom said “Ayyo kallammarane, Mon avarudey Kayyil aanu.” - They are thieves and our son is in their hands. And my dad whispered to my mom “They know today’s banking didn’t happen.” They wanted the money in the house.

 “Don’t waste our time ....  open your locker and we don’t want anyone else in this house to move or else this kid will be dead.” The guests were frozen, and I was perplexed, I felt the toy on my head was a gift for me... and my mom and dad and all the others at home must have known that one wrong move and the bullet in it was for me.

As soon as the 3 reached the locker in the bedroom and saw part of the cash, they lost interest in me and mom quickly locked me up in the bathroom. But these guys not only knew the deposit had not been completed also knew the exact amount that should be in the house. “Give us the money! don’t play games.” My father stood his ground. The guys started walking out holding the gun to my father, forcing him out of the bedroom through the dining area to the kitchen.

My mother ran behind my dad trying to pull him and get him away from them. Two guys went out of the door while one remained inside trying to force my father through the door, when mom literally pounced on my father and gave him one final pull - my father flew into the dining area, while she stood in the kitchen face to face with this 6 feet 2 inch guy. Mom focused all her energy to give the guy a push, and the guy flew out of the door and she banged the door closed. The would-be robbers retreated. The battle was won.

Life is so momentary. The next minute is unknown and we have to still be at our best. The way we react to a situation can make or break lives. If my mother had not pounced on that guy at that time my sister mom and I might have had a totally different life. As Mrs Clinton said “to all the little girls, never doubt that you are valuable and powerful and deserving of every chance and opportunity in the world to pursue and to achieve your own dreams." Please remember that nothing can stop a woman or a man who has courage, conviction and love from facing down opposition and improving their society. 

Innocence Lost

A teacher in my mother’s school narrated this. One day she saw a rat in the house and she ran behind it and killed it. The 4 year old son was terribly taken aback that the mother did such a cruel thing. He went up to the mother and said “Mom you are so cruel you killed the rat. Now wait and see God is going to punish you. “The 4 year old was so sad and he went on around the place talking about this cruelty and how God would punish her for the act.

The rat was thrown out of the compound and the little boy was looking at it from the top of his compound wall. He thought it should be given a ceremonial burial. He took some sand and stooped on the boundary wall and with a lot of respect began putting it on the dead rat. The poor little boy fell off the fence and was bruised very badly.  The little boy after all the crying and sobbing late in the night asks his mom. “Mom you killed the rat but why is it that God punished me?”  What answer would you give the little child?

What made me think was all of us in our childhood were innocent and uncorrupted, compassionate and friendly. We knew that being bad was wrong.  But gradually we changed and today we have become so corrupted. Today, for many of us to be bad is no problem at all. Is it education that makes us too aware of the world that makes us what we are today, or something else? Why do we lose that love, compassion, true belief in God and unbiased love to every living being over a period of time?  

It’s a very serious question we really need to answer because if we could find an answer to this may be we could have very polished, compassionate , loving and giving, citizens for tomorrow. 

Re-living the Past

I was in my home town Kannur in Kerala. I went to a town called Telecherry to visit my Grand Mom’s sister. She is 89. It was the death anniversary of her husband and the whole family had come together. I drove into the approach and as I did, I found myself driving into the nostalgic past. The childhood which we enjoyed, the mangoes we had thrown stones at, the fishes we used to catch, the adventure cycling we used to do and so many things came running back into my mind. 

I remember us going to stay in this aunt’s house. Uncle used to build tree houses for us and we used to play in those tree houses all day. I remember us planning to stay all night in these houses but the minute the sun sets the fear in us jumped out. Food being served to us there and the whole day going on with fun. Standing under that very mango tree, I felt like I was 12 again, playing there in mud, going fishing and having a whole lot of fun. 

I spoke to one of my uncles and he too had the same things to say. He was talking of the past with a lot more deep feelings.  The whole family was talking about the beautiful times they had together. The pranks they played on each other, the fights they had and how they made up. It was awesome!!! My Sunday was a fun day and as always, being home is a pleasure.  I just sometimes wish that those days come back again with all the beauty of its past.

The legacy from the past is what takes us long in life.   We had enjoyed the best in life and I just do hope that we give all what we got from our past to the present generation. We are we only because of what we got from the past.